Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Change: One Of My Biggest Fears

Yesterday morning my husband and I got some fantastic news- after a very intense and involved interview process, my husband has been offered a new job! He's been working for a small business for four years now (not his own), and despite the fact that he has greatly enjoyed it, the chance for advancement is very limited. His boss encouraged him to start looking for something new, as the future of the business is unstable right now, and he's unable to offer my husband any kind of guarantees that the business will be open for much longer. J. has been looking for something new for quite some time now, but unfortuately nothing has been a great fit for him. Until now. J. interviewed for this job and came home and told me that he was determined to secure a job offer. Months after his initial interviews (and quite frankly, after we had given up any hope) he received an invitation to return for further interviewing.

Last Thursday was the date of his most recent interview. I came home from work tired and stressed out. I asked him how the interview had gone and he promptly produced a bottle of champagne and poured me a glass. He had unofficially been offered the job! We had to wait for the official phone call (which came yesterday), but he had it in the bag. He hugged, we laughed, we cried. We celebrated. These past couple of months have been a series of small disappointments, one after another. First, we were outbid for a house that we had our sights on. It would have been perfect for us, but it wasn't meant to be. Next came a larger disappointment. Due to cutbacks my old job had been eliminated. I was essentially demoted, due to the fact that I was the lucky person with the least senority. My job description has changed, and not for the better. With my new position came more uncertainty, more stress, and more hours (and all for less pay). It all worked out for the better, right? We didn't know that this fantastic job offer was just around the corner.

And really, it's all good. His starting salary will be almost triple what he makes now. We finally have the opportunity to set some money aside each month and really start saving to make our dreams of owning a home a reality. We'll have a little more security. There will be a little less stress on me job-wise. My part-time income will be less relied on to pay the bills. What do I have to complain about, right?

Apparently, a lot. One of my biggest fears is change, and we'll be having a lot of those soon. J.'s job is over an hour away, so after he makes it through his probationary period we will start looking for a home a little closer to his job. We'll start looking in the spring, in the hopes of moving in the summer. I hate moving. Our home now is the only home that my youngest, J., has ever known. We've spent Christmases here, birthdays. We even got married when we lived in this house! The friends that I've spent the time making here will still be friends, but more of an effort will be required when we want to visit. With a new home and town comes a job switch for me. My job requires that I live in-area, so I'll have to transfer my skills to a similar job in the new town. My address will change. My children's school will change. With my youngest starting school next year, that will change too. I'll be home alone every other day- both happy and sad at the same time. My husband currently works next door to our house and comes home for lunch every day. If I need him I simply have to walk next door. I get to see him through the day. Not anymore! His shifts will rotate on a bi-weekly basis- days, afternoons, and then nights. I'll just get used to one shift, and it will change to the next.

I'm reading what I've written and it sounds like I'm complaining. I promise I'm not. I'm thrilled that our family will have opportunities that we didn't have before, and I'm thrilled that we're moving on to the next phase in our life. These past four years we've felt like we were treading water- getting no further behind, but getting no further ahead. I'm excited that we'll be changing things up, doing something new, moving forward. However, while I'm excited for what comes next, I'm a little sad for what we'll be leaving behind. Our home, our town, my job, schools, our friends. My safe little routine will be soon busted to smithereens. And you know what I'm going to do? Brace myself for it, and then plow ahead with a smile on my face. In a year or two, I'm sure that I'll be thankful for all of the changes.


  1. Jonita,

    I was ndding my head as I read this post. I can relate to most of what you have said as I had always feared change. However, over the years, every time that I had to endure change, something BIGGER and BETTER happened for me. Try to believe that this will happen to you as will, and you will feel so much less stress. Best of luck and much happiness as life puts you and your family on a new path.

  2. Congratulations to your husband and your family on J.'s job offer! While that's very exciting and fantastic news, I can definitely relate to a fear of change -- even change for the better. You've been tough all along -- just remember how strong and resilient you are and keep moving forward. I'm sure good things are afoot!

  3. I've moved three times in five years! I know what you're going through. It will be challenging but you can do it. You just put yourself out there and be open to new experiences and who knows, maybe in another four years, you'll wonder how you ever didn't have the life you're about to lead soon enough! :-) Chin up, maybe it's for the best. Good luck! If you need help with forging ahead and how to find new things in your new community, just let me know. I've come a long way with each of my moves. :)_ Congrats to your family for this great opportunity!

  4. I have an award for u on my blog! :)


  5. You won't be home alone because we'll be right there with you.

  6. Congrats! I think everyone fears change to some extent, but just think positive thoughts.